Critical sports blog

National Signing Day is Wednesday. It’s a day of excitement for high school football players and fans of college football. Every school is making a final push to secure the finest players in the country. Alabama is no exception. Nick Saban looks forward to recruiting because it’s a chance to lie without any real consequences. Here, for your perusal, are reasons to attend Alabama and play football:

The School:

Located in a state known for it’s academic prowess.

Fight Song: You Lie Like A Cheap Rug

Enrollment: 20,000. Athletes attending class: 4

Why You Should Commit to Alabama:

• No speeches about morals from the coaching staff.
• Chance to lose to Meyer, Spurrier, Tuberville, and Fulmer.
• We don’t care about off the field incidents.
• Free ethnic slur book with each admission.
• Free copy of the film Deliverance with admission.
• Learn from Coach Saban. He’ll teach you the basics because you can trust him. Just ask the Miami Dolphins and LSU Tigers.
• Our Paypal plan allows you to receive your recruiting money upfront with no strings attached. Shhhh….