Like Sisyphus pushing his boulder, the Bengals can’t avoid their fate. Chad Johnson, while not being named a suspect or person of interest, was questioned by the Miami Po-Po in the death of another man. Why, inquiring minds want to know, do the Bengals continue to spiral out of control? The Critic, mindful of civic responsibility, offers clues to the Bengal problems. Thus, in list form, here are the reasons the Bengals stay in trouble:
- Lack of a Chunky Soup Mom: Say what you will, but the Steelers, Eagles and Seahawks avoid trouble. Where are you Mrs. Palmer?
- Location, Location, Location: If the Bracelets Bengals weren’t in Cincinnati they’d have more to do. Remember Jerry Springer was once Mayor of Cincinnati.
- No Group hugs: This team needs Bill Cowher.
- Socioeconomic conditions: It’s difficult being rich. Poor bastards.
- Lack of a Strong Male Figure: Is Mia Hamm available?
- The Bengals Nickname: In essence when you break down the term Bengal you have a giant pussy.
Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson was questioned by Miami police regarding an investigation into the shooting death of a man.
Johnson, a Miami native who played his college ball at Oregon State, spoke with detectives Monday at police headquarters, according to The Miami Herald.
“Chad has confirmed to the club that he cooperated with the Miami Police earlier this week as part of an investigation,” the team said in a statement released Friday to The Associated Press. “Police have characterized this as a routine procedure and have stressed that Chad is not a suspect or even a person of interest in this case.”
Authorities have not said why Johnson was questioned or what connection he may have had in the death of Curtis Tavares Dopson last Friday.
The 27-year-old Dopson was shot near the doorway of a duplex he moved into about four months ago, the newspaper said. No arrests have been made.