Archive for the 'NBA' Category

As George Karl Gently Weeps

Monday, January 8th, 2007

After the 16-15 Nuggets dropped another game to division rival Utah this weekend, George Karl huddled in the corner of his office and tried to figure out exactly why his team sucks ass right now.
The Nuggets find themselves half a game behind the re-surging Timberwolves at third in their division and eighth in the Western [...]

Not So Fast, Dallas

Monday, January 8th, 2007

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban had to erase his latest blog post today. It was a nice long one about how amazing, awesome and unstoppable the Mavericks are with their 14-game winning streak.
Make that thirteen, Mark. The Lakers snapped the Mavs’ second long-stretch without defeat Sunday night with a 101-98 victory in Dallas.
Fittingly, this latest [...]

Raja Bell Is An Asshole

Saturday, January 6th, 2007

Go ahead, visit YouTube and type Raja Bell’s name in the search bar. You’ll get nothing but flying elbows and complaints to the refs.
I take that back. The first video is a mix that portrays Bell as a pimp and ends with him calling out Kobe.
The Suns guard was suspended for one game without pay [...]

The Return of Larry Brown

Saturday, January 6th, 2007

Former 76ers coach Larry Brown is back in Philadelphia, only now he has a swiveling ergonomic desk chair in the front office.
Brown was named Executive Vice President of Basketball Operations Saturday, which may anger some Pistons fans. HOWEVAH, IT GREATLY PLEASES STEPHEN A. SMITH.
Meanwhile, an unidentified source has expressed the team’s interest in buying out [...]

Pat Riley Is Old

Thursday, January 4th, 2007

Pat Riley’s post-Magic-and-Kareem days were finally validated with a Championship last season. He could’ve ended his legacy right then and there with sweet, sweet champagne victory, but his brittle finger ached for another ring.
Now here he sits with a bum knee, aching hip, and a Shaqless bunch of hooligans who have lost more games than [...]

Who Laughs Last In Philly

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007

Ultimately, the Answer is Allen Iverson.
Tuesday night however, the 76ers emerged the 108-97 victor. Iverson scored 30 points against his former team in Denver, before being ejected late in the game for arguing with Steve Javie, one of the officials. Obviously, the ref has had it out for him since he joined the league and [...]

The Sheriff’s Back In Town. Almost

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007

No, Shaq didn’t retire. He’s recovering nicely from his mid-November knee surgery and will apparently be back in the Heat’s line-up just in time to face his former team in LA on January 15th.
Deputy O’Neal is expected to start doing things like running and jumping this week, to get back into shape for the big [...]

NBA Power Rankings

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007

A look back at stories that brought us to where the world of professional basketball sits at the start of 2007…
1. Dallas. The Mavs are 21-7 with Avery Johnson as the fastest coach to 100 wins while Mark Cuban posts videos of Britney’s hoohoo on his blog.
2. San Antonio. The Spurs are 23-8, so Robert [...]

NBA Players Welcome Back Old Balls

Monday, January 1st, 2007

The Celtics faced Seattle on Sunday night and lost; not because they scored fewer points than the Sonics, but because they were forced to use the new/now old synthetic microfiber composite space ball. Boston will play Portland on Monday night, using the old flesh-friendly leather ball. This is where the problem lies.
Doc Rivers complained to [...]

T-Mac Syndrome

Monday, January 1st, 2007

We’ve always been under the assumption that Tracy McGrady is a lazy-eyed, hypochondriac klutz. We were wrong! Well, sort of.
It turns out, he carries a highly contagious virus, now referred to as T-Mac Syndrome. Roughly 30% of players are susceptible to this illness, if proper precautionary measures are not taken (rubber gloves, face masks, bio-nuclear [...]