Like Sisyphus pushing his boulder, the Bengals can’t avoid their fate. Chad Johnson, while not being named a suspect or person of interest, was questioned by the Miami Po-Po in the death of another man. Why, inquiring minds want to know, do the Bengals continue to spiral out of control? The Critic, mindful of civic [...]
0 comments admin | Football |
The Bengals, fond supporters of local bondsman everywhere, now have a player serving time. Chris Henry is now in jail for a few days after pleading guilty to stupidity. Chris will be busy. Here’s a list of his activities:
Explain that Deliverance was a movie.
Learn to sleep with mattress cover pulled up over his legs. (highly [...]
0 comments admin | Football |
Queen Elizabeth, the Virgin Queen, stymied by a war between the Protestants and Catholics, needed a person to step in to restore some measure of order and discipline. Afterwards a powerful Queen, she felt no one capable of carrying out her wishes with respect to the removal of those opposed to the crown. Enter Francis [...]
0 comments admin | Football |
It’s hard to make Oakland look decent but give the Bengals an A for effort. As of today nine Bengals have been arrested in less than a year. Rookie Jonathan Joseph apparently was found in possession of weed. We’ll hold off on the absurdity of weed being criminal whilst alcohol and tobacco are perfectly legal [...]
0 comments admin | Assholes |
Travis Taylor is fond of electrical instruments. The Wide Receiver invited a police officer to taser him after an altercation outside of a nightclub. In the wake of the murder of the Denver Broncos Darrent Williams this is minor but for the Vikings another chapter is written in the book of Smoot.
Taylor allegedly imbibed too [...]
0 comments admin | Sports |
Marvin Lewis made his name as a defensive coordinator with the Baltimore Ravens and a short stint with the Washington Redskins. Much like the Pet Rock it seems that reputation doesn’t translate to success. Coach Lewis and the Bengals lost 49-41 to the San Diego Chargers despite gaudy numbers by Ocho Stinko, Chad Johnson.
The Bengals, [...]
0 comments admin | Coach |